SEQUIM, Wash.—A near-capacity crowd gave the cast a standing ovation for their performance of the musical comedy, “Urinetown” at the Olympic Theatre Arts theater here Sunday, May 31. It is a bizarre, hilarious drama about a town like Sequim suffering twenty years of drought, with every resident forced to give up their household toilets and take care of daily ablutions at “private public” toilets, dubbed “amenities” for which they pay an admission fee. The musical was composed by Greg Kotis and Mark Hollmann.
The villain is billionaire Caldwell B. Cladwell, played by Ron Graham, dressed in a dazzling white suit, wearing a vest glittering with gold sequins. Cladwell spends all his time onstage bellowing at his staff—and his beguiling daughter, Hope—about the need for greater efficiency in collecting the fees from all the “poor folks” using his toilets. He is obsessed with raking in maximum profits for his corporation, “UGC” (Urine Good Company).
One scene has Cladwell meeting with Senator Fipp, opening a briefcase, and showing the inside stuffed with cash. He closes the briefcase and hands it to Senator Fipp, who assures his billionaire patron that legislation to guarantee UGC profits is on its way to passage in Olympia—or any other State Capitol, or the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C.
The play begins one morning with the “poor folks” lined up on stage waiting to pay the admission fee and enter the public toilet to relieve themselves.
One of those in line is Old Man Strong, who dances around pleading with the ticket-taker, Penny, to allow him to use the toilet without paying because he is desperate to pee.
“No one pees for free!” she replies. “Peeing is a privilege!”
Finally, he rushes over to a fence and relieves himself in public. The crowd waiting to urinate reacts with shock to Old Man Strong’s act of revolutionary courage. The police are called, and Old Man Strong is handcuffed and dragged away on charges of violating the “Public Health” law. Later, to ease the court’s docket, the police take Old Man Strong to the roof of the highest building and push him off to his death. His ghost returns repeatedly, pleading with his son, Bobby Strong, and other poor people not to forget him.
This police murder, as well as thousands of poor folks anxious to pee, triggers a mass rebellion. Bobby Strong, reflecting outrage over his father’s death as well as anger at the injustice of the system, becomes the leader of this rebellion. The slogan of this mass movement is “People United to Pee For Free!” In one of several onstage demonstrations, a woman holds her sign that proclaims, “Don’t Hate! Urinate!”
Bobby Strong takes charge of the public toilet, inviting everyone to use it for free, refusing payment for admission.
Meanwhile, Bobby Strong and Hope Cladwell meet and fall in love, pledging eternal devotion to each other. Hope is kidnapped by the rebels. Anarchist Hot Blades Harry threatens to strangle Hope. But Bobby Strong arrives. “No one’s going to be killing anyone around here,” he proclaims. “This has got to be about more than revenge and the vicarious thrill of stringing someone up who can’t defend herself.” The crowd sings an anthem:
“Free people are free!
How can a fee enslave us
See how we can be
Free from the chains that enslave us!”
In one duet, rebel leader Bobby Strong meets with Cladwell, his staff, and the police. Cladwell sings, “You are wrong, Mr. Strong and your socialistic throng! If the people pee for free, they’ll push the system to the brink. If today there’s spillage, tell us how tomorrow will not stink!”
At another point, the rebellion has spread so far, so fast from Amenity 1, Amenity 2, and a dozen other public private toilets that Cladwell attempts to bribe Bobby Strong. “Bobby, I want you to have this cash,” Cladwell sings. “And I want you to tell the people that the powers-that-be grant full amnesty to those involved in this week’s criminal activities as long as they return to the improved fee schedule as authorized by the Legislature. Don’t let it happen again and have a good time in Rio.”
Bobby Strong replies, “But I’m afraid my conscience will cost you more than a pile of cash, Mister Cladwell. If there is a way to that bright new day, we’ll find it together. All of us, not just the wealthy few. And that means free access!”
Cladwell, enraged, sings his answer: “I’ve spent a lifetime building this company, paying off the police, bribing the political elite, and snuffing out popular resistance as if it were a naughty baby bunny in the palm of my hand. My right hand. I’ve centralized power to a pinpoint spot. Right here! Between these two ears!….Seize him!”
And the police arrest and handcuff Bobby Strong and drag him away. Later, like his father, they throw him from the top of the tallest building. Yet the rebellion is so powerful that it has become a revolution. Hope switches allegiance. She sings to her father, “I’ve joined the revolution, Daddy…”
And in the end, the revolution wins a mighty victory. Everyone is free to pee without paying a penny fee!
I joined the crowd, guffawing at every laugh line! And I also joined in the standing ovation that greeted this powerful performance. This comedy reminded me of another dark, satirical musical, The Threepenny Opera, which I saw performed Off-Broadway in New York City my freshman year at Amherst College. Billionaire Cladwell, with his shimmering gold vest, reminded me of Mack the Knife in an ominous warning of fascism’s rise. The Threepenny Opera was first performed in Weimar Germany in 1928.
In satire, the fictional actions conceived by the satirist are an exaggeration of reality. But these days, the behavior of the billionaire elite is so extreme that it is more absurd than even the most outlandish insanity imagined by the writer.
There is a line sung by Bobby Strong about billionaire Cladwell, “Please! There’s no way to appease/ A raging maniac/ A real insaniac.” Isn’t this the reality we face in the billionaire elite that controls Washington, D.C.? “A raging maniac…a real insaniac.”
Luckily, Sequim has a frequently used, clean public toilet half a block from City Hall, admission free.
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